But don't let one bad parenting mistake get the best of you. Below are a few strategies to help you get past your mistake, and move on to parenting your preteen the very best you can.
Strategies for Overcoming Bad Parenting Guilt
Acknowledge Reality
The truth is, you're human, just like your tween, and you're going to make mistakes. Parenting is hard, and despite all the books and information available to you to help you parent your child, you're going to stumble along the way. Just like your tween, these mistakes will help you become a better parent, if you learn from them.Give yourself a break, and acknowledge the fact that you're not perfect. Accept it, and move on.
Was it Really a Mistake?
You may think you engaged in bad parenting because your tween is mad at you, but did you really make a mistake at all? If you grounded your preteen because he lied to you, and now you feel bad about it, did you really make a mistake, or are you just suffering from a strong case of parental empathy.How can you tell if you made a mistake, or if you're just feeling low about the situation? Ask yourself if you'd react to your tween the same way again, or if you'd handle the situation differently, now that you've had some time to think about it. Another strategy is to think how another parent, one that you respect, might have reacted. Maybe your tween really did deserve to be grounded. Perhaps you reacted properly after all.
Admit Your Mistake
If you are guilty of making a bad parenting choice or two, there's no reason to keep it all to yourself. Admit to your child that you mad a mistake, and that you're sorry. Point out that you intend to learn from this mistake, and that you hope it will bring you closer together in a small way. Tweens can be very sensitive and understanding at times, and you might find that your child understands how you feel more than you think he does.Don't go into too much detail here. In other words, don't use your child as a substitute therapist. He doesn't need to know that you blew up because you're stressed from work and might lose your job. Be careful not to unload on him, simply state that you thought the situation over, and that you realized you made a mistake. Tell him that you're sorry, and that you want to move on together. Then put it all behind you with a trip to the ice cream parlor, or spend time together playing his favorite video game.
Do You Have a Serious Problem?
There are no perfect parents, and we all make bad parenting decisions from time to time. But if you feel that you've lost touch, don't know how to handle your child, or you can't control your own anger or problems and it's interfering with your family life, it might be time to seek professional help. A counselor can help you focus on the problems in your parent/child relationship, and offer advice on how to establish new habits and better ways to deal with confrontation, discipline, and stress.Seeking the help of a professional doesn't mean that you're a failure as a parent, it only means that you're open to the possibility of a better relationship with your tween, and a happier home life.
