Many tweens are drawn to cigarette smoking because they see their friends smoking, they think it's cool, or because they're just curious. If you want to keep your tween from lighting up, here's what you need to do.
Have a Talk
The best way to keep your tween from smoking is to talk about it. Ideally you should have numerous conversations over the course of several years, rather than just one conversation. Short, to-the-point talks about your dislike for smoking may do more than a lengthy lecture. If you don't want your child to smoke, tell him so. Convey the drawbacks to smoking, such as the serious health consequences, as well as cosmetic consequences such as bad breath, yellow teeth, smelly clothes, and the likelihood that some of his friends may no longer want to hang out with him. He should also know that many teenagers do not wish to date someone who smokes.Conversations can take place anywhere you have time alone with your tween, such as the dinner table, in the car, even at a restaurant. Just remember to be patient and understanding with your child, rather than judgmental and accusatory.
Convey Consequences
Your child needs to know exactly where you stand when it comes to smoking, drinking and drug abuse. Without lecturing your tween, communicate your house rules, and consequences. He should know if he'll lose privileges or his allowance should he decide to try smoking. Your conversation should be informative, but not threatening.You might want to write a family contract that specifically states your family's commitment to stay smoke free. Family members can sign the contract, and you can display it in a prominent place, such as on the kitchen refrigerator.
Keep Your Door Open
Your child may have questions for you about smoking, and may even ask if you've ever smoked. It's OK to admit that you smoked or tried cigarettes, but be sure you also tell your child that you know that it was a mistake, and that you hope he'll make better choices.If you still smoke, now's the best time possible to quit, and to enlist the help of your tween to kick the habit.
Know What's Going On
Keeping in touch with your child's friends and their parents is a great way to know what's happening at school, at the bus stop, and after school. Be sure to touch base with other parents frequently, to share details and any concerns you might have about your child's life and possible negative influences that may exist.If you find out that one of your child's friends is smoking, talk to your child about it. Ask him why his friend is smoking, and what he thinks about it. Ask him if he's been tempted to smoke himself. Refrain from judging your child, or lecturing him, as both behaviors may backfire. Instead, offer your support and let him know that you understand he might be fighting peer pressure from his friend. Let him know that you're proud he's decided not to smoke, and that he can come to you anytime to talk about it.
Eat Dinner Together
It seems so simple, but research does indicate that children who eat dinner with their parents on a regular basis are less likely to engage in risky behaviors, including smoking. Be sure your family's schedule permits you to sit down together for a meal at home regularly, and use that time together to talk about what's happening in your lives. Ask your child about his school day, and share details of your day as well. Meal time is also a good time to remind your child about the importance of a healthy diet, and of keeping himself healthy so that he can do all the things he wants to do.Look for Warning Signs
There are certain warning signs you might notice if your tween is already smoking. You may notice the smell of cigarette smoke on his breath or clothes. You may also notice a cough, bad breath, a need for money, yellow teeth or fingers, and stained or burned clothing.If you think your child is smoking, it's time to talk. Ask him why he's smoking. Is it because he wants to feel grown up? Is it because he thinks it's cool? Or, is he just trying to fit in with his friends? Understanding his motivations is key to helping him stop, before he becomes addicted.
