It doesn't matter if it's the summer months, a day or two off from school, or a long weekend, sometimes tweens find themselves with a lot of free time on their hands. Kids, trouble and free time just seem to go together. But you can help keep your tween out of trouble with a little knowledge of the things they might get into while you're away from the home. If your tween spends time home alone, it's a good idea to sit down with your child to discuss the issue of kids, trouble and preventing trouble before it starts.
They May Break Curfew
If you told your tween to be home at a certain time, but you're not home to supervise, there's a good chance he might push the envelope by arriving home after his established curfew. Discuss consequences of breaking curfew before you allow your tween out of the house, and be sure he checks in by phone to tell you he arrived home safely at the time agreed upon. If your child makes curfew, be sure you acknowledge his good behavior and reward him with a hug, some time alone with you, or some other non-monetary reward.
They May Try Inhalants
Inhalants are fast becoming the drug of choice for tweens, and it's easy to see why. They can find the products they need to inhale to get high in their own homes, and it's easy for them to hide their dangerous behaviors from their parents. Make sure you understand the warning signs of inhalant use, and be sure you talk with your child about this dangerous behavior. Your tween probably already knows what inhalants are, so bringing up the subject won't give your child any ideas. In fact, it will let your tween know that you're on top of things, and that you expect your child to keep herself safe and healthy.
They May Try Smoking
By the time your tween leaves middle school it's a sure thing that at some point, someone will have offered your child a cigarette. Ideally, you should begin teaching your tween about the dangers of smoking long before he becomes a tween. But you should also role-play how to say no to a friend or a classmate who might offer him a smoke. Give your tween a few stock responses, and make sure he understands that he can come to you when he's put in tough situations. Reward him for his honesty and problem-solve together. Also, stay in contact with other parents to keep in touch with what's going on in your community.
They May Experiment with Sex
It's hard to believe a 10-year-old would even want to date, but today's tweens begin dating early and the consequences can be serious. It's necessary to have several discussions with your child about what is and is not appropriate dating behavior. For example, you could say, "It's OK to hold hands, but you're too young to kiss." Also, make it clear whether or not dates are allowed in the house when you're not there, and where they are allowed to go. Be specific. You could say, "Your date is not allowed over unless I'm home, and then he's not to go in your bedroom."
They May Break Computer Safety Rules
Today's tweens are digital natives, they know computers backwards and forwards. Nonetheless, computers and the Internet do pose certain dangers to our children, and it's important that you know enough about those dangers to intelligently guide your tween. Be wary of social networking sites where children can make contact with adults, and vice versa. It's also important to be aware of cyberbullying, a fast growing, anti-social behavior with tweens and teens.
Kids, Trouble and Free Time: Other Considerations
When your tween talks about Space Monkey do you know what she means? Space Monkey is terminology for the Choking Game, which is a deadly game tweens and teens practice to get high. It's also something they may try in private, when you're not around.
Do you know the number one cause of death for tweens? Car accidents, and those accidents usually involve teenage drivers. Be sure you carefully screen anyone who will transport your tween when you're not around, and be very careful when teenage drivers are involved.
In addition, take a look around your home for other potential dangers, such as easily accessible alcohol.
