Keeping Your Cool with Your Tween
Monday December 8, 2008
Parental guilt. Ever suffered from it? That nagging feeling of remorse you get when you lose your temper with your child, or fly off the handle for no reason at all.
The good news is you can learn to control your reactions, even when your tween is dedicated to pushing your buttons. If you're trying to keep your cool with your kids, remember to slow down, recognize your emotions, and if necessary, give yourself a time-out in order to calm down.
And be sure to give yourself a break every now and then. You deserve it.
I have so many of these moments! When I really lose it, I always apologize to my child and try to model taking responsibility for your actions — even bad behavior. But I love your advice to give myself a time out. I will see if that helps me control my temper BEFORE losing my cool next time.
I have two lovely tween granddaughters, but I can profit from your suggestions. I especially like the one about anticipating problems so you can avoid them. Since I’m not with my granddaughters every day, I hate for conflicts to mar our times together. So I’ll be practicing avoiding problems before they occur.
I particularly liked your advice to “Put It Into Perspective” and figure out how important it is in the general scheme of things.
These are all great suggestions. I think that recognizing your emotional state one is critical. My husband and I have what we call “pass-off signals” that we give each other when a child is frustrating us to the point of breaking.
And what it does, besides relieving the frustrated parent, is make the other one aware that their strength is needed at the moment, which helps them avoid getting sucked into the same emotional turbulence.
Great advice! Thanks.
Guilty as charged
But I loved these tips and will keep them in mind!
Really helpful suggestions and I love Laureen’s note about pass-off signals. That can go into practice in my house TODAY!
I can relate to this, being the self-guilting mom that I am. I liked your advice about being selective with conflict.